she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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