Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
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