i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
