The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
