I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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