I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
