all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
