Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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