He asked to "fluff my boner.."
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Randomize
