Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
