I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
