This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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