Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
