i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
he fucked my hip out of place.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
