Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
