Barsexuality is the new black.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
