Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Randomize