If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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