drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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