We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
