literally had 100 drinks last night.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
