she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
