You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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