Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Someone shattered a urinal.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Are we still banned from the library?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
