Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
This is classic penis vs brain.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Randomize
