Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
