Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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