Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
