I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I don't deserve a penis
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Randomize
