My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
