dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
