porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
