I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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