You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
