singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
