i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
