Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
