It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
