I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
