Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
