You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
