This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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