96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
