I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
