It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
She's like a pop up book from hell.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
