And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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