youre lurking in front of me
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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