I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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