: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
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