it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
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