So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Randomize
