he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
They left me at home... I'm a liability
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
