Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
