another moral hangover. fuck.
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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