I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize