I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Randomize
