okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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