omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
