why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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