in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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