it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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