i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
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