Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
