Is it normal to miss your booty call?
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Randomize