Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Randomize
