good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
