In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
