I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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