I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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